Christian One-liners
Every once in-a-while, you have to make time to laugh!
You are really poor when you are so broke that you cannot pay attention.
God did not promise a calm flight. He promised a safe landing.
A will is a dead giveaway.
If God is your co-pilot, then change seats.
What’s the quickest way to double your money? Fold it in half.
Best vitamin for a Christ is B1.
The man who is too big for a small job is too small for a big one.
You are not too bad to come into church, and you are not too good to stay out.
Nothing is more responsible for the “Good Ol Days†than a bad memory.
Read the Bible, it will scare the Hell out of you.
Snap judgments always have a way of becoming unfastened.
God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
If you cannot see the bright side, polish the dull side.
Be fishers of men-you catch them and God will clean them.
Man with closed mouth, gathers no foot.
Suffering from “truth†decay, brush up on your Bible.
If you do not take a stand for something, then you will fall for anything.
A forbidden fruit will cause many jams.
The problem ahead of us is never as powerful as the Power behind us.
Working for God does not pay much, but the retirement plan is out of this world.
Deciding not to choose Jesus is still making a choice.
If you do not have anything to pray about, thank God.
Wisdom has two parts (1) having a lot to say. (2) not saying it.
It wasn’t the apple on the tree, it was the pair beneath.
Quit griping about your church, if it were perfect you couldn’t belong.
It is easier to preach ten sermons than to live one.
Going to church does not make you a Christian any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car.
Don’t let your worries get the best of you. Remember Moses started out as a basket case.
If a church needs a better pastor, then it needs to pray for the one that it has.
God is like Hallmark Cards–He cares enough to sent the very best.
God is like Tide–He gets the stains out that other leave behind.
Give God what’s right–not what’s left.
Man’s way leads to a hopeless end–God’s ways leads top an endless hope.
A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma–but never let him be the period.
Don’t put a question mark where God puts a period.
Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to church for a face-lift.
When praying, don’t give God instructions-just report for duty.
Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.
We don’t change God’s message-His message changes us.
The Church is pray-conditioned.
When God ordains-He sustains.
WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
Plan ahead–it wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.
Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
Exercise daily–walk with the Lord.
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practiceâ€.
Never give the devil a ride–he will always want to drive.
Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
He who angers you controls you.
Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.
USE YOUR BRAIN: it’s the little things that count.
Death is just the “toll gate†to eternity.
If you think that you can or if you think you can’t, your right-Henry Ford.
